Woke up shaky. Did my leg lifts, ate a couple of nuts, trying to get the metabolism up. Indifferent success -- still shaky a couple hours later.
Got a bunch more stuff moved last night. Some of it was moving stuff out of Tim's. That was...painful. So many good memories, and they all hurt now.
Opened up an email he'd sent me a month or two ago about a big upcoming SCA event I need to register for. First two words were 'Morning love!'. Almost broke me again.
So much pain.
--
Just had to go have a cry. Not a good cry -- you feel better after those.
--
I'm having a sale in my shop. Somehow even without having to pay an exorbitant rent I seem to still not have enough money. Well, I haven't had a lot of spare energy to do much with it, so that should come as no surprise, but I'm still broke.
This _will_ get better. It has to. I can't keep up with days like this.
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speaking the truth, even when my voice trembles
a journal of a bisexual, bigendered, polyamorous, Christian woman trying to figure out
what it is
God has in store for me
About Me
- Kate
- Hoping to hit the road in an RV with my two cats and my business, The Vagabond Tabby. I'm getting really, really tired of waking up in the same place every morning.
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- 1000 Awesome Things
- Another Loose Canon
- Church of Saint Augustine
- Closeted Pastor
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- Get Rich Slowly
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- Honey Rock Dawn
- Left Turn at Joy
- Margaret and Helen
- One Wild and Precious Life
- Plain Foolish
- Practicing Intentional Gratitude
- Prairie Light
- Quaker Pagan Reflections
- Rae's Ramblings
- Sophia's Call
- The Kitchen Door
- The Lonely Goth’s Guide to Independent Catholicism
- The Manor of Mixed Blessings
- Three Woofs and a Woo
- Today's Readings
- Unclutterer
- Wormwood's Doxy
- Wounded Bird
3 comments:
Hang in there Kate. I've experienced that kind of grief...it lasts a while - but eventually - it does get more bearable - at least in longer and longer spurts.
Today's a little better. One day at a time. I know I keep saying that, but it keeps being true too.
Yeah..one day at a time is the only way to get through it.
I remember feeling like my chest was going to seize up - I actually felt like I was having a heart attack or like the breath was being crushed out of me.
A year later, I still feel it, but, it doesn't crush me constantly like it did this time last year.
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