Friday, May 21, 2010


Cribbed from my shop blog, cos I totally have the energy to do two posts only not.

Crap to Move

Just don't have the energy for a feature post this week. I've been packing and moving and taking things apart and basically wedging my entire life into a box, and unlike every other move in my life I don't even have the excitement of something awesome to look forward to on the other side. It's a nice enough place, and the people are great, and it's just not at all what I wanted.

I just want it done. The big move is Sunday and I don't have a lot of help lined up -- I hope a few people pop up at the last moment. I'm worried about that, but I'm worried about everything these days so that should come as no surprise.

I've also been busy with the sale and that is some unmitigated good news -- the sale has gone wonderfully, with both regular and new customers buying quite a lot. I'll have to do a lot of production once I'm unpacked to get my stock back up -- and that's perfect, exactly what I wanted. Things have died down a little but I plan to continue the sale through the weekend, so there's still a chance to save money. It really is time to get ready for spring, too, with bug stuff and sunburn stuff and all that.

Yesterday was a really hard day. The phone woke me up, and even at my best being woken up like that will generally throw me off for an hour or two. Then I had religious proselytizers pounding on the door -- and I mean pounding -- until I didn't feel safe leaving my office. And so it continued; I was frazzled and scared and unfocused until I found a friend to talk to online, and then I was most okay until it was time to leave for the intake thing.

Which went well, but I cried a lot during the private part. The news was very good -- I already have my first appointment with a therapist. I'm very impressed with how they run things, so far, and I'm hopeful they'll be able to help me out. Good overall, but very stressful, and by the time I was done, I was done. Shaky, anxious, hungry, all I wanted to do was eat something, take an anti-anxiety med and go to bed.

It was, like, five, so that was right out. And my friend Dwen was coming over to help pack and take things apart, so I just had to hang on.

So I did. I managed to eat something, tried to read a book. Tried sitting at the computer. Tried doing a little packing, meditation, finally gave up and took a pill; still shaky and riding the edge of a panic attack.

Found another friend online to talk to. I swear, human contact is the best thing ever. She kindly stayed with me until Dwen showed up, and after that I was too busy to worry -- we got the bed, one of the tables, and the big Ikea shelves taken apart, and I got a lot of general packing done, too. Which at least ended the day on an up note. I'll take it.

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