Thursday, April 10, 2008

In other news

Isn't that just the most adorable thing you've ever seen?

It lives...


Went to the doctor yesterday. There were blood tests and stool samples and all kind of excitement. He thinks it's a virus (he didn't say 'dysentery' but it was written on one of the sheets of 'this is what we're checking this for'). I've been running a low-grade fever which I hadn't really noticed on top of everything else but explains why I've been keeping my bedroom window cracked even at night. Aproros of which I got woken up this morning by the feel of snow falling on my face. Very odd that but the wind was high enough it was coming in the tiny opening I had in the window.

Says something that I chuckled a little and fell right back asleep.

He gave me prescription-strength Immodium (more or less) and a few other things and said 'drink a lot of Gatorade, be careful what you eat and take it easy' which is about what I was doing anyway but if it's a virus there's not much for it. I am feeling slightly better so far today though I keep expecting to keel over.

I went to the grocery store with Tim last night because I was BORED OUT OF MY SKULL. The ride to the store and the walk in from the car wiped me out so I spent the rest of the trip in one of those little electric carts. Didn't even feel guilty about it which I think says more about my condition than much anything else.

With luck I'll be up to going back to work tomorrow. Rae, I'm not sure if they're _allowed_ to fire me for being sick but I'm pretty sure they don't much care if they aren't. I'm already paying for a lawyer for the divorce and finding someone local to take on freakin Walmart on top of that...I just don't think I could justify the cost. Which is how they get away with it, of course.

Ahh, well. Part of me is relieved. I hate the place (not the people, never the people, but the institution) with my entire being. Now if I can just get something else...

And the amazing thing? While I've missed an entire week of work, my little fledgeling business has brought in _almost_ as much as I've missed in pay. Now that's gross, not net, and a lot of it's going for shipping and materials and stuff but...still. Almost as much. This soon.

I have about nine hundred and eighty-three orders to send out today (well, five, I think; no, six). Two of them are ready to go. Three more are in process and the sixth requires me to run out and buy something. I don't know if I'll get to them all today and that's just _fine_. Little by little, though. Bit by bit.

Gonna be sleeping soundly for a while, though.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Still ded

...trying to be funny about this, and failing.

Still feeling horrible. Tiny incremental improvement if any, and today I actually feel worse. Tim's talked me into going to the doctor. My manager's doing her best but she's really going to have to fire me soon. And in this economy...

Terrified. Physically weak and incapable of much of anything. Emotionally bereft. Upset at my own weakness. Part of me wonders if I'm only sick because I don't want to work at Walmart, if the depths of me just don't care about the damn consequenses for my finances or my body. That part hates the rest of me for being weak. Remember that post about working and the necessity thereof?

After all, if I'm remotely physically capable of working I should be! Yeah, right.

I'm not anyway.

Wondering if I'm seriously ill. Can't afford to be. Shouldn't even be going to the doctor; it's sixty bucks I can't spare. Can't spare, do you hear me?

*sighs* Off to try to eat something.

Monday, April 7, 2008


Elliott's looking pretty much fine; the black was just a scab, not necrosis like I'd feared. Another couple of days to be sure and I'll be introducing the two.

...assuming I'm up to it. Sorry for the delay in updating, but I've come down with the worst case of food poisoning I've ever had in my life. It started Friday, people, and I'm still basically useless. As of today I've missed three days of work which means I've also almost certainly lost my job, which I can't find it in myself to be too upset about. On the other hand, I'm well past 'bored, rammy and irritable' and just want to be up and doing...which I manage for about five minutes before passing out again.

I tried to go to work yesterday. What a bad idea. Tim came and picked me up and I napped for three hours to recover.

The last time I have had such a long and hard recovery from something was when I was five and had just had surgery.


...eventually I'll be all right I suppose. I suspect part of this is backlash from the work-hate-stress and poor eating I've been putting myself through. I'm looking for a better job when I'm functional enough, I swear.

*crawls off for another nap*

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Prayers please...

...for Elliott. The lump that might have been a tumor and might have been an abcess is in fact and abcess -- it popped this morning, and at first I was really relieved. Once it popped, I figured, it'd be able to heal up.

Except the skin over it is black, and what came out is slightly greenish, and it doesn't smell good. It's infected at the very least, and I don't know how to clean it out except to cut it open and do so, which I'm not remotely equipped for. I did wipe the spot off as well as I could but he's all wiggly, so it's hard. And you can't scruff a rat like you can a cat.

On the up side, it doesn't seem to be bothering him at all, even when I press on it. He's in a ridiculously good mood, in fact, he's running all over my desk (I've had to edit his comments out of this post several times already). And he was due to go back to the Humane Society today for his last mites shot, so I'm going to ask them to have a look at him while we're in there. If they can't do anything for him, I have a really good vet.

Still pretty worried. He's not young, he's had a tough life, and I want him to hang around a little longer.

God created rats as well as everything else -- please, pray for my (big) little guy.