Friday, September 7, 2007

Boring Friday Posting

There's nothing to do at work today. Really, actually nothing. I have no independent tasks of my own -- I do what Stephanie and Katie tell me to do. Well, Katie isn't in, and Stephanie is working desperately on a spreadsheet and doesn't have the time/energy/attention to be able to give me a task.

So I'm caught up on my email, and my Livejournal, and my blogs; I've read (and printed) a number of articles on how to make various things at home; I took fifteen minutes to pet somebody's dog. I'm bored, bored, bored bored.

The Assistant to the Dean position fell through; he isn't sure what he wants in an admin assistant, so he's going to hire a temp for six months until he gets it figured out. A lot of people have tried to console me by telling me I'm probably happier not working for him anyway, but I think his decision makes sense -- if he doesn't know what he wants someone to do, how's he going to know who to hire?

I'm still applying for other jobs at the university, and my high scores still stand. In the meantime, Crocs will do. Crocs will do nicely.

I feel like what I'm doing contributes nothing to the betterment of the world, mind you, but I suppose that can come later. Right now I need to feel like I'm remotely financially secure, or at least not in a huge hole. Which Crocs will do. I got my first 'full week' paycheck today and it's a lovely lovely feeling. :)

In other good news, my new doctor refilled my antidepressant prescription without a qualm. He rocks. So now I'm on my happy meds again and much more stable.

Sunday (or was it Monday?) I baked bread. There's a brand of whole wheat flour that's specifically designed for high-altitude baking, and it's got a bread recipe on the back; I just followed it. Kneaded it by hand, which didn't hurt near as much as I'd thought it would (which is why I haven't tried it before; I'm careful of my hands). I let it rise three times but apparently not for long enough, because it came out fairly dense. Still very good, though, and I've been eating the results all week. I think I'll be baking my own bread in the future.

I should give props to Tim, who tried the bread thing first. His second batch came out just fine, so I'm going to follow what he did. (His first batch did the same thing mine did; fortunately (or unfortunately) Sarah got up onto the counter and ate most of one loaf. Alas, dog.) It's hard to find a simple bread pan these days, which depresses me, but who's surprised...

I've spent down moments for the last week and more reading The Archdruid Report, a blog on Peak Oil and what he calls the coming 'deindustrialization' of society. Interesting stuff. I'm not sure I agree with him, but his points about doing more things sustainably, and doing more things without the aid of machines, do appeal to me. I've spent part of the day today looking for ways to do things myself -- for example, I printed out three pages of recipes for things to make out of crabapples, and a recipe for homemade laundry detergent. I shall report back on the results of both.

It seems only right to do what I can to take care of this Earth that God has given us to live on. Most of it's more work, yeah, but you know what? Oh well. I 'work' all day and yeah, it does tire me out but I'm not doing anything, not creating anything except lots of little ones and zeroes, and a lot of printed-on paper that will shortly be recycled. When I get home (and when I have the energy) I want to make things.

When I have the energy. I'm still getting used to getting up in the morning. It's a slow process but I'm getting there. I'm afraid I slept in a little today -- Chocolate was being insistent. Since I've been working nine-hour days I don't feel too bad about it, though.

I've been working on getting (back?) into a habit of prayer. Little muttered prayers throughout the day, and stolen moments (usually in the bathroom, I'm afraid) of just being quiet and paying attention to God. I've felt His presence a few times which is good; I don't know if my faith is strong enough to carry me through years without it, like Mother Teresa. Her story still makes me want to cry, and then smack the people who think that her long darkness of the soul makes her less a saint.

I think a lot of people don't understand faith. I know I didn't. I thought it meant a surety, a lack of doubt that humans generally don't actually get. And so I thought I had no faith. A different definition might have made things very different.

Ahh, well. What is, is. And that's what I have before me to deal with.

Tim and Ray have been fighting. I've set aside time with each, just to listen to them. Tim vents upon me in huge bouts of anger. (Not at me, just near me, if you know what I mean.) Ray quietly tells me he's depressed and goes back to reading. I'm praying hard for them both. Ray cheered up while his parents were here (and they talked him into going to a doctor, thank God!) but he spiralled right back down when they left. Tim's trying to convince him to actually go to the doctor, but we'll see. I'm out of it, apart from listening and prayer. I haven't the energy. We shall see.

Tomorrow Dwen is fighting for Tim in Crown Tourney. For the non-SCA folk out there (most of you, I think) if she wins they'll be King and Queen of the local SCA kingdom for six months. A lot of work and a lot of politics. I find myself for the first time hoping that someone I like doesn't win. Tim would be miserable and Ray even worse -- he doesn't enjoy the SCA.

It should be a pretty fun day, though. Dwen isn't likely to win but I do hope she fights well. Tim and I both got silk banners with our arms on them from Adhemar, and they're gorgeous. There will be pageantry and such. I'm looking forward to it.

Kinda scattered today, huh? And nothing too thought-inducing. Ahh, well. Perhaps more on Sunday if I can get my home computer up and running.

2 comments:

Mother Laura said...

I'm glad the job is going okay, hon.

What happened on Saturday at the joust (or ???) Is Tim the King?

Kate said...

Kerridwen acquitted herself with honour on and off the field, and fought well.

Also, she didn't win.

*whew*