Friday Five: The Righteous and the Seriously Screwed Up

Perhaps I'm a bit opinionated on certain things.

1. Mac? (woo-hoo!) or PC? (boo!)
Why yes, the Friday Five author reserves the right to editorialize!

Linux uber alles! (Alas, I'm stuck using a PC).

2. Pizza: Chicago style luscious hearty goodness, or New York floppy and flaccid?

Thin crust for me. If I wanted more starch I'd eat a bagel.

3. Brownies/fudge containing nuts:
a) Good. I like the variation in texture.
b) An abomination unto the Lord. The nuts take up valuable chocolate space.
[or a response of your choosing]

B. I'm a purist in odd ways. I like my chocolate chip cookies...without chocolate chips, so I can just eat the cookie part.

4. Do you hang your toilet paper so that the "tail" hangs flush with the wall, or over the top of the roll like normal people do?

Over the top, of course! Like all right-thinking folks.

5. Toothpaste: Do you squeeze the tube wantonly in the middle, or squeeze from the bottom and flatten as you go just like the tube instructs?

I squeeze haphazardly until there's little enough left in the tube that I can be arsed to make the effort to squeeze it properly.

Bonus: Share your favorite either/or.

Peanut butter first, or jelly? Jelly, of course!
Crunchy or creamy? Crunchy, though not so strongly as some of my other (not)humbly-stated opinions here.
Blinds open or closed at night? Open! So totally open.

This was fun. Much better to be ridiculously opinionated over small pointless things and save the thoughtfulness for the things that count.

Friday Five: Parties!

And again, the RevGalBlogPals Friday Five...this week about parties...

1) Would you rather be the host or the guest?

Either is fine under the right circumstances. I like hosting as long as I have the space, can get it clean, and can supply food/snacks as I prefer. So with sufficient prep, yes.

I like being the guest of it's a party I want to go to (as opposed to one I'm obliged to go to; those are fewer these days, though), if I have time to do the prep I want (the people around here do a lot of costume parties, and I'm a stickler for authenticity even outside the SCA), and if I haven't been so busy with other things that I have no brain left.

2) When you are hosting, do you clean everything up the minute the guests go home? Will you accept help with the dishes?

Usually the place isn't too much of a mess. I'll get the leftovers put away, of course, and at the very least get the dishes into the sink and soaking if they need it. Help with the dishes? Absolutely!

No shame about leaving the place a mess if I'm exhausted, though, as long as the food's dealt with.

3) If you had the wherewithal, and I guess I mean more than money, to throw a great theme party, what would the theme be?

Hm. Something fun and costume-ey, as that's the tradition here and I really enjoy it. The James Bond party was fun but not something I'd throw. The villains party was a blast. Maybe a Firefly theme party if I had the right people to invite; that's a specialized theme. Nothing medieval; I do that all the time.

4) What's the worst time you ever had at a party?

You know...I don't think I've ever had a really horrible time at a party. I've been bored, antisocial, annoyed; but nothing worse than that that I can remember. There's always been somewhere to slip off and be grumpy on my own...

5) And to end on a brighter note, what was the best?

Possibly the surprise 18th birthday party my high school friends pulled off on me. It worked, and I'm a paranoid soul. I still don't know how they did it.

Or any of the New Years Eve parties Ben's parents threw...excellent theme parties by people with the money and other wherewithal to pull things off. Frex, the one year they had a 'do a scene from your favourite play' theme, I got to spend the evening in the basement, running three cameras by remote control to get the best angle on what was going on.

Might be just a bit of a geek.

--

In other news, feeling better than last night. Sometimes you just need to whinge some, I think. Or at least I do.

Spent a bunch of time alone last night, just goofing off and doing thins I like; and then hung out with Ray today, and we took Shanti for a long walk. Went partway around the lake, kept the Mighty Huntress from eating several birds, another cat's mouse (and wasn't that fun), and a prairie dog, much to her annoyance. She keeps acting like she's about to jump in the creek, though she hasn't yet. I just have this image of fifteen pounds of soaking-wet long-haired pissed-off cat...

The people at the consignment place I went to yesterday think my stuff can sell at a higher price than I had on it, so I'll get more back than I thought I would. They're also willing to put out my bookmarks (at twice the price I thought I could get for them) and are talking about buying some themselves! So I'm feeling a lot better about that, too. It's not a great deal, but it's something.

And then there was 'hey, I've got an hour before work...how do you want to pass the time?' which always cheers me up. And smirking at Tim when we passed each other in the parking lot, me going to work, him on his way home.

Another hour and I'm off work, thence to Friday Night gaming with the most annoying (but fun) character I've ever played in my life.

Friday Five: What are you...

1. Wearing: The everpresent jeans and sneakers. Plaid silk noil buttondown, short-sleeved. Bright red plaid socks. Really, it's not as bad as it sounds...

2. Pondering: What's for dinner. Also, trying to figure out where the *&^%* this whole spiritual revelation is taking me. Right now with about equal attention.

3. Reading: Blogs. Somehow bringing a book into work I feel guilty about, but blogging, not so much. Never claimed to make sense...

4. Dreaming: Of financial freedom. And a garden. Also a bit of surety in my life.

5. Eating: Just finished a bag of small candy-coated Hershey's kisses. Typed 'bad' instead of 'bag' the first time I did the previous sentence; well, they're certainly not any good for me.

Grateful for a nice quiet Friday Five after the last one.

Very belated Friday Five: Surprised by Joy

From RevGalBlogPals, which I, err, seem to have joined.

Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No." He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. (John 21:5-7)

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:5b)

This week I've been watching parents of the young people slain at Virgina Tech trying to make meaning out of the lives of their lost children, and each one seems to begin by focusing on something joyful about that child. It's a gift that most humans have brains wired to respond in that way. For some of us it can be harder to work our way out of dark places, but I believe joy remains the key. It is the spirit of resurrection.

Tell us about five people, places, or things that have brought surprising, healing joy into your life.

This is a particularly appropriate day for me to finally get round to this post. Half of yesterday and all of today I've been buried under a crushing 'cannot do anything' depression; I have the feeling that it's a crash from the up-and-down emotions of the weekend. Not surprising on reflection but I wish I'd realized it might happen.

I've been forcing myself into a semblance of usefulness anyway. I'm at work, and have done most of the things the boss wanted me to get done today (saving a bit of pricing, as I can't find the bloody pricing gun). I did a logo for my mom earlier, and a bit of jobhunting. So not a day entirely wasted, though at times it feels like I'm dragging myself through molasses to move; at times I have to remind myself to breathe.

So why joy, on a day which doesn't hold much joy for me? Because I need the reminder. It's good for me to think about what is good, at this moment when it feels like there is so very much that's not good. So herewith my five.

1) Shanti, who came into my life entirely unexpectedly. Back when I worked in Boulder, Tim and I were outside taking a smoke break (well, he was smoking, I wasn't) and saw, trotting across the field, a beautiful long-haired black cat. I made pss-pss-pss noises (I am rather a sucker when it comes to cats) and she ran over, crying, and began to rub furiously against my legs. I bent to pet her, and found that she was skinny, and her fur was terribly matted down her sides.

Needless to say, I now have a lovely, long-haired, spoiled, well-fed, frequently-brushed black cat. She walks between me and the monitor, and then lays down on my wrist rest so that I simply cannot type. She's nearly shredded her way through one of the two window screens in my bedroom. She's escaped upwards of fifteen times, never longer than ten minutes at a time since she usually runs a little way and then lays down. She's not a lap cat, won't lay down on top of me or on my pillow when I'm in bed, but consistently lays curled up next to my pillow. She goes for walks with me, on a leash, and if I'm not going to the apartment office anyway she'll drag me there so the apartment ladies pay attention to her. She poings. She zooms. She tries to chase birds, dragging me clumsy and loud along behind her, and I always scare them off. And then she'll come back to me and rub against my legs just to let me know she loves me anyway.

2) The people I've met, mostly here at blogspot and more generally through my blogs here. Hedwyg and her daily gratitude posts, reminding me that there's still joy to be had. Plain Foolish who brought me here in the first place and never fails to make me think. Wulfila for reminding me that you can be Christian and something else at the same time, and make it work. Brian and his inspiring, and fascinating, quest for equality and understanding. Mother Laura for constant encouragement and the occasional well-placed provocation. And so, so many others; check my blogroll, and I know I'm missing people who should be in that list, too.

3) Ray. I knew what I was going to get from Tim when I moved out here, more or less. We'd known each other for years, after all; talked online incessantly, met for brief, intense and all-too-rare flings a few times a year. Ray and I? Had met once, talked on the phone a few times. Only knew each other through Tim. I had very little idea what to expect and I don't think he did either. And we drive each other nuts, we've had our snippy moments, days of avoiding each other, total lacks of understanding. And we've also had moments of encouraging each other to keep moving, days when each dragged the other out of the house for a bike ride or to go work in the garden. Shared laughter and sometimes tears, worked on dinner together. Joined forces in jollying Tim out of a bad mood. Walked the dog, and chased Shanti across the parking lot. (Repeatedly; Ray no longer walks into my apartment without crouching down to catch the cat). It's been a lot of frustration, some heartache, but mostly? A lot of fun.

4) All the many, many things I can do on my own. Go grocery shopping and plan meals. Make a budget and stick to it (more or less). Make the money to pay the bills. Decorate an apartment, and keep it clean and livable, and change things around when I like, or when it makes sense to. Get to work on time and work until the work is done. Get car insurance, investigate health insurance, do my own taxes. Get my own apartment in my own name after discovering that my credit score was not only not craptastic, but actually really, really good. Keep that credit score good.

All really basic simple life stuff, right? And stuff I hadn't done on my own before, much of it stuff that scared me white at the thought of doing it by myself. Nobody else to do it for me, though, and so I'm doing it, pushing myself out of the house to get things done at times, but doing it and getting it done.

5) Faith. I'm still not entirely sure what I believe in, or at least all of what I believe in, but I've come to realize that yes, there are things I believe in, and that still comes as a total shock to me, miss skeptic, miss unbeliever, miss Created Without Faith. But I believe that both Ganesha and St. Michael are keeping an eye on me; I believe that there's a Something out there behind them, there's a light beyond the darkness. How it expresses itself in my life is still up for debate (a lot) but that? Is okay.

And the mental repetition of 'I only ever wanted to come inside' has been replaced by 'Domine, non sum dignus' with the occasional reply of 'neither's anyone else; your point?'. I keep wanting to look over my shoulder to see who They're talking to, but Tim rolled his eyes at me, so.