Still ded

...trying to be funny about this, and failing.

Still feeling horrible. Tiny incremental improvement if any, and today I actually feel worse. Tim's talked me into going to the doctor. My manager's doing her best but she's really going to have to fire me soon. And in this economy...

Terrified. Physically weak and incapable of much of anything. Emotionally bereft. Upset at my own weakness. Part of me wonders if I'm only sick because I don't want to work at Walmart, if the depths of me just don't care about the damn consequenses for my finances or my body. That part hates the rest of me for being weak. Remember that post about working and the necessity thereof?

After all, if I'm remotely physically capable of working I should be! Yeah, right.

I'm not anyway.

Wondering if I'm seriously ill. Can't afford to be. Shouldn't even be going to the doctor; it's sixty bucks I can't spare. Can't spare, do you hear me?

*sighs* Off to try to eat something.