More detail

Thanks to all of you who've commented. I don't know if I'll have the energy to reply to each individually; I'm running pretty low at the moment.

Taltos had been sort of slowly fading for a while -- getting skinnier at any rate, though as energetic as always in running to hide. He was always afraid, see, and I never managed to convince him he didn't have to be. I decided against taking him to the vet, because changes were it was just age, and adding the stress of vet visits and medication would likely negate any good the medications might have done.

I still don't know if it was the right decision, but it's the decision I made.

There have always been whole days when all I'd see of him was a pair of eyes under a table. He was always _afraid_, and I tried and tried and tried to teach him he didn't need to be, and I never managed it. So I mostly left him alone, except to check on him every once in a while.

A few days ago he was fine.

Yesterday he ran past me into the closet -- stumbling, almost dragging himself along, I went in after him immediately.

He still had the energy to scratch me up pretty good, but it was clear he wasn't okay. His legs weren't working right, his tongue was stuck partway out of his mouth and wouldn't go back in. Stroke, or possibly a brain tumor that finally got big enough to push on the wrong things. I held him for a bit (and the fact that he let me told me everything I needed to know) and then went over to Tim's and had a meltdown.

I knew he had to go. It was time. But he's always hated the car, hated the vet's; I was stressing him enough just leaving him in the bathroom, though he wedged himself behind the toilet and seemed somewhat serene with that.

Tim, bless him, made all the arrangements. I wouldn't have been able to talk on the phone -- could barely talk in person. I stayed in the bathroom with Taltos and tried to think of a way to make it easier on him. I got a syringe and got a little water into him, which he seemed happy about. And I got out the bottle of valerian and rubbed a little on his nose.

That seemed to calm him down a lot. I got him curled up in a cat bed without him fighting it, and he relaxed once he was in it. He didn't cry in the car, didn't panic at the vet's.

All I'll say about that was they let him go easy, and I'm glad I thought of something to help with that. I can't bear to think if he'd been terrified.

Loiosh isn't letting me get too down. If I get too depressed he bites me on the nose ("I trained him; he bit me"). Chocolate is being extra-loving, Samson's being his normal hateful self but that's fine.

I hardly ever saw Taltos but the place still feels empty. I miss him.

Here's a much less Demon Cat picture:



Rest in peace, big guy. You don't have to be afraid any more. Wait for me by the Bridge if you want -- but don't feel you have to. I'll look for you there either way.

My big cat...

Taltos, 1997-2008

Come to the Green Wood

I normally post these over at my shop blog, but I figured I'd give y'all a chance to see how I make my jewelry.

In the green wood you know anything that you see
Could be ancient gods in some disguise;
In the green wood you touch on the last mystery,
And you can't put your trust in your eyes.
In the green wood surrender the things that you know,
Let your heart tell you just what it sees.
In the green wood take all that you are, and let go;
Put your faith and your light in the trees.
Seanan McGuire, Come to the Green Wood

I picked up these lovely carved stone beads at my favourite local bead shop, The Bead Lounge. They were tagged as 'crazy stone', which as far as I can tell is their way of saying 'we're not quite sure what it is, but isn't it awesome?'. And I'm not sure either, but they're awesome.

And a few weeks ago -- perhaps as long as a month, now -- I read the lyrics to a new song by Seanan McGuire, filker extraordinaire. And as I read them, a necklace took shape in my mind.

It was a while before I actually got the chance to let it come out properly, but today as I worked it made its slow way to the forefront.

Before I started the necklace I made a couple of paternosters (about which more later). During that process I happened to lay the carved beads next to the few jade beads I had left and voila! Yeah, those look good together.



I needed more -- I only had seven of the jade beads left, and it was still not quite right anyway -- so I dug around until I found the gold-dyed pearls. There were just enough of those left, too, proving that this necklace is a truly karmic piece!

...okay, that might be laying it on a little thick.

I've had these wood beads for a while and never found the right piece to use them with -- well, this was the right one. That's when I realized which piece I was making, and which song it was for. The tiny gold-coloured seed beads added the perfect finishing touch, just enough to brighten the necklace and set everything else off.



It's a good long piece, too, at twenty-six inches. Luxurious, one might say. Or at least, well, long. I'm pleased with it.

If you're interested (and you should be!) the rest of the lyrics to the song are at Seanan's LiveJournal. Amusingly enough, it's part of a group of songs she's written to prompts from yet more jewelry -- pendants with bits and snatches of quotes on them, made by the brilliant Chimera Fancies. I can't find the post where the pendant this is based on (if indirectly) appeared, but have a look here and here to see some of her lovely work.



Kitten not included.

Bathtime!

Every once in a while I actually manage the time to take a bath.

Yes, I should be doing this more often. It's my own stuff after all! But somehow it's still hard to make time for it.

Anyway, it was a lovely relaxing bath (in Queen of Hungary Bath Salts, using Tea Tree Calendula Soap, for those who're interested), save for one small, confused, very anxious kitten who spent the whole time right next to the tub (when he wasn't on the rim) crying at me as if to say 'but Mom, that's WATER!'.

'Don't you realize that's wet?'

'Please get out, that's just not right!'

...he's mightily relieved now.

My work area

I recently finished an interview (to be posted later) in which the interviewer requested, among other things, a photo of my work area. I sent her another but after I sent it off I found this scene, and just had to take a picture:



Kinda says it all, doesn't it?

What I Do on the Weekends

I go camping with my kitten.



This last weekend we went to an SCA event near Florissant. It's up in the Rockies maybe a couple hours south of here, really pretty country. Due mostly to me messing around earlier in the week and not getting things done, we got there just around sunset, leaving me (once again) to set up in the dark.

Fortunately I found help right away -- someone to help me set up camp and someone else to watch the kitten. Loiosh went off with a friend of mine while I started to unload the car. Halfway through setting up the tent said kitten-watcher showed up, sans kitten, to inform me that my kitten was at a party without me. Something called a Pamper Party. Complete with salmon and a masseur.

I half expected the guy to jump out from behind a bush with a camera and big lights yelling 'This Is Your Life!'.

So, I finished setting up camp. Made my way to the party, and retrieved my kitten. Had him for no longer than five minutes before the Queen arrived and promptly stole him from me. So there he is, in the presence of royalty, getting fed cheese, while I float around the edges and try to look small.

Alas, I didn't get any pictures of him with the Queen.

Eventually I got him back, whereupon I fed him salmon (half the salmon was gone, but people had left a lot of crumbs), and ate a lot of blueberries, and got a lovely backrub. So all in all, I felt better about having missed the earlier parts of the party.

Woke up the next morning and got the shop set up. No pictures of that, either. Kitten only!



Tangled in his leash! I even have a video on Youtube.

He woke up and was Evil Kitty, so I lent him to a bunch of small children for about three hours. 'Don't bring him back until he's asleep!'. He wasn't quite asleep when I fetched him but it didn't take him long.



A new friend was kind enough to take a couple of photos of me with my baby -- these are for Aunt Ann, who specifically requested them:





I love the attitude of 'Moooom! People are looking! Stoppit!' in the second one. Note the paw, firmly placed against my chest. 'Do not kiss me in public!'

'Mom!'.

In other news, I sold a bunch of stuff, slept better than at previous events, and decided I want a canvas round tent. Probably will have to wait until sometime over the winter. But really, that's not the exciting part. I know you; y'all want more kitten!

In other news, yet another Etsy Treasury.

Seven Songs Meme

Wasn't tagged as such, but Cecilia said 'do this one if you want' to everyone reading her blog and it's been so long since I've done a meme I figured it was time.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

1. Missing Part, Seanan McGuire

2. Downhome Aphrodite, Seanan McGuire

3. When I Was a Boy, Dar Williams (is this cheating?)

4. Closer to Fine Indigo Girls

5. Watershed, Indigo Girls

6. Mal's Song, Escape Key

7. Paper Moon, Seanan McGuire

You may have noticed a certain theme -- Seanan McGuire is my absolute favourite artist these days, and I listen to her a lot. I used her website for a couple of the links, since few of her songs are on YouTube; go and check her out if you've a mind to.

Not tagging anyone, as I'm probably the last on the planet to do this meme. Thanks Cecilia!